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June 13-19, 2005
Week 11 of 13 | Contest 1

Photo Info: This is another shot from the Desolation trip. It is of Jordan (left) and Trent standing in the Green River looking at what I am assuming is a guide book to the river.

PHASE: Contest has Ended!
Congratulations to this week's winner:
Nate Haldeman

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Name Caption Votes Average You
1 Nate Yep, it says right here. We are standing in the river. Add a Comment View Comments» (10) 21 5.86 -
2 Brian Jordan: "do you see him yet?" Trent: "no." Jordan: "I've been staring at this picture for 3 days! Damn you, Waldo!" Add a Comment View Comments» (4) 21 5.81 -
3 Lane Jordan: "As Buttercup and Westley begin their ultimate kiss -- No, it's kissing again. You don't want to hear it."
Trent: "I don't mind so much." Add a Comment
21 5.71 -
4 Mike K Desperate to find a wife, Jordan takes his tattered ward directory everywhere - scouring it day and night. Trent lends moral support. Add a Comment View Comments» (2) 21 5.67 -
5 Brian Never having seen "Deliverance" before, Jordan and Trent pull the raft over to ask some friendly hillbillies for directions. Add a Comment View Comments» (1) 21 5.62 -
6 Michelle Jordan whips out the J. Peterman catalog to show Trent where he ordered his bitchin' River Sombrero. "Listen to this, Trent. 'Alone on the Zambezi, scorched by days of relentless sun, my only comforts were the distant, cooing birds and the white canvas shade of my trusty River Sombrero...' " Add a Comment View Comments» (5) 21 5.57 -
7 Mike K Jordan and Trent flounder badly with their directions on the last leg of the Amazing Race and suffer a humiliating loss to the old couple and gay guys. Add a Comment 21 5.48 -
8 Cray It looks like someone's personal journal. Who the hell is John Wesley Powell? Add a Comment View Comments» (3) 21 5.43 -
9 Mike K What you don’t want to overhear your river guides saying: “Psst…Trent…where the hell are we?!” Add a Comment 21 5.38 -
10 Carol-Lyn Jordan: Um, do you think we should tell anyone we've never really done this before?
Trent: No, just keep reading, and hope they all think we know what we're doing. Add a Comment
21 5.29 -
11 Michelle Oh, good. I found it--it says this thing is a "paddle." Add a Comment View Comments» (1) 21 5.29 -
12 Lane Trent: "You don't want to be a river guide your whole LIFE do you? Now, start again at the beginning..."
Jordan: "See Spot. See Spot run. Run Spot run." Add a Comment
21 5.29 -
13 Mike K How to Entertain Your Clientele – by Nate Haldeman.
Chapter 1 – Taking Off Your Shirt
Chapter 2 – Flirting with the Women (Wives Like It, Too!)
Chapter 3 – Far-Fetched Stories (Tell Them What They Want to Hear)
Add a Comment View Comments» (4)
21 5.24 -
14 Meghan Gilligan and the Professor are determined that this trip will not turn out like their last three-hour tour. Add a Comment 21 5.19 -
15 Joel Trent: "Just put it away there's no sunken treasure here.
Jordan: "Trent, goonies never say die!" Add a Comment View Comments» (2)
21 5.19 -
16 Brent "Don't tell the others, Trent, but I think we're in Arizona."
"I think they already know, Jordan."
"OHH Fetch!" Add a Comment
21 5.10 -
17 Leena I knew we should have brought a girl with us to ask for directions. Add a Comment 21 4.95 -
18 Ryan Jordan: Trent, if you insist on continuing reading over my shoulder like that, so help me I'll beat you senseless with your own water bottle. Add a Comment 21 4.90 -
19 Mike K “I don’t know, Trent! Carol-Lyn’s river trip recipes are crazy. What the hell do emulsify and flambé mean?!” Add a Comment 21 4.86 -
20 Kathy Reason #413 why Jordan is still single "And here is me and my cat at Disneyland..." Add a Comment View Comments» (2) 21 4.86 -
21 Steven "Man, this raft is not an efficient means of transportation. According to this map we've only gone an inch and a half." Add a Comment 21 4.86 -
22 Kathy This book guarantees I would pick up chicks and all I got was this guy breathing heavily on my neck. What a rip-off!! Add a Comment 21 4.81 -
23 Casey Jordan: Hey trent have you read the new book that Lane wrote yet?
Trent: No, what is it titled
Jordan: "Why I am not married yet" by Lane Pollock Add a Comment View Comments» (3)
21 4.76 -
24 Cray As Trent and Jordan comply with the "pee only in the river rule," Lane cleverly uses the yellow paddle to censor this delicate shot. Add a Comment 21 4.76 -
25 Brent "Here it is, I found it, 'Green River crossing, July 15, 1848.' we can either load up our stuff in one of these here rafts, attempt to ford the river, take a ferry, caulk the wagon and float it across, or pay an Indian guide 3 sets of clothing to guide us. Man, it's a good thing I brought this Oregon Trail guidebook along." Add a Comment 21 4.76 -
26 Nephi Trent get over here quick. Look! 20% off! Should I get the Low-Rise Lace-Up Suede Jeans, the Solar Coco Palm Racer Bikini Thong or the Hand Painted Hibiscus Shirt? Add a Comment 21 4.52 -
27 Lane "Everyone calm down, that was just the, uh, common greenriverus scorpianus...nothing to worry about. Cat's head will return to normal size once the swelling goes down..."
"Damn, Trent, what WAS that?"
"I don't know..." Add a Comment View Comments» (2)
21 4.48 -
28 Brent Jordan: "Well, dang it, I have no clue where we are, this guidebook seems to be in Greek or Russian, or something." Trent: "No, you got it upside-down, you idiot!" Add a Comment 21 4.48 -
29 Nephi Jordan: "Trent will you look at that rack?" Trent: "Whoa that is the largest rack I have ever seen!" Jordan: "We better hurry and put this away before Carol-Lyn sees. You know how jelous she gets when she sees a nice rack" Trent: "One question before I put this away. Does that rack go in the new Kenmore 2000 Bake Easy oven or the Whirlpool Bakers Deluxe oven?" Add a Comment View Comments» (3) 21 4.43 -
30 Ryan The map says that this is the Green River, but this water is obviously brown... Add a Comment 21 4.38 -
31 Tad Are you sure?? I thought there was a motor in this thing!! It's even here in the owner's manual!?! Somewhere?!? Add a Comment 22 4.36 -
32 Mike K “Huh…says here that Squints is a hilarious game of dexterity and determination…and it only requires a few quarters. Let’s try it!” Add a Comment 21 4.33 -
33 Casey Jordan and Trent pay close attetion to the pictures on page 23 of the Karma Sutra!! Add a Comment View Comments» (10) 21 4.29 -
34 Brian them ain't oars! them is me sisters! Add a Comment View Comments» (1) 21 4.19 -
35 Carol-Lyn Jordan: Ok, Trent, it says in the "CSI: Survive Deso" manual that if we use the three bucket method to clean up this oar (you know, rinse, wash in boiled water, then rinse in bleach water) there shouldn't be any more evidence.
Trent: Wow, I still can't believe that one more chorus of Hallelujah sent Mike over the edge. Damn, now I'm short a mandolin AND a violin in my band! Add a Comment
21 4.19 -
36 Trent Trent: "I still can't believe that Indian permit came with a map to peyote." Jordan: "Yeah, let's have Nate distract everyone at the petroglyphs while we go harvest some." Trent: "I just hope we don't start telling Boog stories like we did on our last peyote trip." Add a Comment View Comments» (1) 21 4.14 -
37 Steve this old Jordan..., he played guide..., he played nick nack on his hide...
with a nick nack paddle wack, give jordan a book, this rafting trip went off the hook... Add a Comment View Comments» (2)
21 3.95 -
38 Mike K Trent helps Jordan practice for the ‘hallelujah campfire song’ by teaching him the finer points of diction, dynamics, and vibrato. Add a Comment 21 3.95 -
39 Brent Jordan swears the stopping point was near, but he sees they still have 1.2 miles to go: End-of-river elongations strikes again. Add a Comment View Comments» (4) 21 3.95 -
40 Lane "It looks like some kind of prophecy...beware of he who hides blue bottle...what do you suppose that means, Trent?"
"Sounds like nonsense to me...just get rid of it..." Add a Comment
21 3.95 -
41 Donna Cat is still upset and humiliated over being rejected last night by Trent and Jordan. They just want to be friends, and she just wants revenge. While they are distracted, she takes this perfect opportunity to whack them with the paddle. Add a Comment 21 3.90 -
42 Amber Doh! We should've taken a left back there instead of a right. Looks like we're going to have to paddle against the current...again...mumble, mumble... Add a Comment 21 3.81 -
43 Donna Trent: Dude, we should just ask for directions.
Jordan: Shut up! We are not asking for directions. We are not a bunch of sissy girls!!! Add a Comment
21 3.81 -
44 Casey Jordan: "Trent look, look it is Cat and Michelle!"
Trent: "Whoa! With photoshop anybody can look attractive!" Add a Comment View Comments» (1)
21 3.29 -
45 Nephi Trent, will you look at those nuts! I have never seen such a large set before! Jordan, don't be such a dumb ass. Those are brazil nuts and they are the largest nuts around. Now put your Salted and Roasted Magazine away and let's get on with this rafting trip. Add a Comment 21 3.24 -
46 Steven Jordan: st-st-ste-e-steep, no, step one...
trent: Good, keep going.
Add a Comment
21 3.24 -